Friday, 23 April 2021

Expectations vs. Reality - Children

 Tiny humans. 

6 years I've had them tiny humans. That's (quick mental calculation 365 x 6) 2190 days of having them around. From zero days old to 6 years and a bit. Here's what I learnt about them. 

This is my Expectations vs. Reality about them tiny humans aka children. 


Expectations: Babies sleep a lot. 


Well, maybe a tiny few but for the most part, babies & toddlers are insufferable when it comes to bedtime. They get cranky, throw a fuss, whine because they are tired but still refuses to sleep. And when they get to toddler / young child age... it's the "Mommy, I need the toilet, a glass of water, to arrange my toys, change my shirt" before they get to bed. I haven't even talked about the light sleepers, the ones that wake up every 3 hours just to check you're still around. 

So yes... I sleep better than the tiny humans. 


Expectations: They're so fragile.

Reality: They're pretty resilient for tiny things. 

I learned that babies are able to float themselves if they ever fell into water. They come with built-in sponges in their foreheads so they really will survive that tiny fall off the bed. They can withstand pain if you allow them to, my son has only cried after a vaccination twice, and then it was smooth sailing after we don't make a big fuss about it. My son has eaten his own poo and survived it. 

So don't feel guilty about that tiny bump, scrape, poo-eating accident - THEY WILL SURVIVE. If anything.. I may be the one that needs rescuing.  


Expectations: They don't know anything.

Reality: They are smarter than we give them credit for. 

Yes, they need to be taught. But treat them as stupid and you'll get stupid kids. I learned quickly with my daughter, that there is so much she can teach me too. So much wisdom in that tiny mind and body. They're so pure and raw, unadulterated from society's expectations of them - what you lose from life, they bring back. So many times, my kids leave me speechless at how they see things, the world, and people. I see bringing up my kids as a symbiotic relationship, we learn from each other. 

If you think you're the smartest and these tiny humans are hollow shells - you will miss out on the lessons these tiny humans bring to the table. 


Expectations: All children are the same.

Reality: Tiny humans are their own person. 

I noticed my son is different from my daughter. Same parenting, different results. It is more damaging to them when I assume they're the same and it's frustrating for everyone. For me because I get annoyed why one gets it while another doesn't, for them because they just don't get it. Also, they have different likes, and forcing something they dislike on them is just unnecessary. 

You are not your brother/sister/friend. Don't expect the same for your tiny humans. 


Expectations: Tiny humans are easy.


There is nothing easy about tiny humans. It's an endless problem solving, strategy tweaking, learn as you go process. 6 years and I barely know anything. Every day I learn something, every day I'm changing methods because what works yesterday may not work today. There's no easy when it comes to tiny humans. None. Nada. Zilch. Whoever says it's easy is not hands-on enough. 

But I will say this, it's rewarding. Tiny humans are rewarding. Tiny humans have so much love. Tiny humans have so much forgiveness. Tiny humans have so much understanding. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve my tiny humans. But they remind me they need me too. They remind me I am enough. They remind me of grace and hope. 


What are some of your expectations vs. reality moments when it comes to your tiny humans? 

No comments:

Post a comment