Monday, 5 April 2021

Dear Twenty-Something Year Old

 Dear TWENTY-X 

Welcome to adult life. Life for me started at twenty-one. I can still vividly remember turning twenty-one and having the world open up. The first is independence, as an adult, you can do anything and everything, which includes breaking the rules. BUT, as an adult, you also face every consequences and responsibility from those decisions you make. Scary? Perhaps. But if you have a strong head on those shoulders, you will be okay. And if you don't, perhaps, hopefully, this post will help you. 

I made a mistake in my twenties. I thought I needed to figure out everything. I thought I had to achieve "milestones" to make it as an adult. But here's a secret no one wants to tell you, regardless of what age, you will always still be figuring it out. No one, no matter how confident or put together, has everything in their life figured out. So let go of the pressure of being the great big good adult and just... learn. Use every opportunity to learn to improve yourself and enjoy yourself in the process. Some of the most valuable lessons I learnt, I learnt while having fun without the pressure of "being perfect". 

Go on adventures. Life is just starting out - explore, travel, do something that scares you, do something that inspires you, eat... live. There are so many opportunities to make money. Money shouldn't be the only thing that drives you. Living should. And life is only as rich as the experiences you experience. If you tell yourself... I'll do it when I become rich, when I get married, when I have kids.... you'll only every only make excuses for not living. The worst is being 75 and regretting not having any experiences. Just go. Make a plan, budget it and do it. 

Mess up the timeline. Timelines are guides. Timelines are not law. There's too much pressure to live by the timeline, here's what I'm going to tell you, the timelines don't guarantee happiness. The timelines are not blueprints to the best life. The timelines may not even work for you. It didn't for me. I'm the epitome of messed up timelines but hey, I'm in a stage in my life where I'm glad I created my own timeline. Create your own timeline. If being married before the 5Cs is what brings you peace, do it. I did. Yes, it's hard, but the time I have with my husband, the extra time together, building our marriage, life and career together - I'd never trade those for the correct timeline. If having kids before your career is what brings you peace - do that. As long as you create a timeline that is yours, no one can say it's wrong because it's right for you.

Discover yourself. What are your dreams and goals? What are your desires? What do you want to achieve? Who do you see yourself in 5 years, 10 years, 20 years and how can you help yourself get that you? See a therapist if you have to because let's face it, there are things in our life that can do with a little help of unburdening that baggage.

Go have fun. Go drinking, partying, dancing and socialising. I'm not going to tell you to not waste your life away because what is life without a little fun. Some of my funniest moments in life is when I'm out with friends and just having fun. Some of my life-changing moments are when I'm out there having fun and doing things that others deemed to be "wasting time". But if it's moments like those that make your life richer... who can really say it's a "waste of time"?

Lastly, don't waste time on things that drain and rob you. That includes people. I wasted a lot of my twenties trying to fix something that was broken beyond repair. I do regret the time wasted. But lesson learnt and now I can tell others in hopes that they don't make the same mistakes I do. Don't waste time, effort, emotions, and resources on people and things that don't bring you joy. Things and people that don't help you be a better person are better off out of your life. Trust me.

And there you go dear twenty-x. May your journey into your twenties be one that is fruitful, enriching and lively. Because you deserve the best!

-Ally

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