Friday, 27 April 2018

When She's Ready - Our Toilet Story

We did it! LittleLim did it! LittleLim has been diaperless for about 6 months now. Just recently we have tried night time and we still have accidents but it's not as frequent. But for the day, our baby no longer needs diapers. 

Baby Ally spoils market. Baby Ally was potty trained at 9 months old. Baby Ally did not wet the bed. Baby Ally was reallllly good. Or that's what my mother, grandmother and aunty tells me. Baby Ally has set the standard really high. When LittleLim was 9 months old, LittleLim was still in diapers. Many people tell me that she is ready to learn how to use the toilet with many tips and advice thrown in. 

"Just spank her and she will know how to use the toilet."
"Reward her! Give her stars when she uses the potty."
"Just take off her diaper." 
"9 Months is too late to learn already! Better start now."

Reaaaally helpful. Of course, me being me who loves to do things MY way, I turned a deaf ear and ignored it. My motto to everything "Eventually she'll learn (insert skill)". Of course at 18 months when she was still in diapers, people frowned. At 24 months still in diapers, everyone had something to say about my "failure" but hey, one ear in one ear out. You do you, I'll do me. 

I did get over excited and tried to force her to use the toilet. I bought a kids potty to encourage her to not use the diaper, I got her training pants and I even read her books and let her watch videos on toilet training to inspire her. It all failed. She hated the mini toilet and even more so the kid seat attachment. But the worst was when she would wake up in the middle of the night and cry because she peed in her diaper and felt like she made a mistake. That was the worst feeling I've ever felt as a mother because I caused the fear and paranoia she was feeling. After that, I stopped trying and told myself "When she's ready". We continued to let her wear her diaper. 

When LittleLim hit 2.5 years old, one day, she came up to me "Mummy, LittleLim wants to peepee". I was so happy she could tell me. Then she surprised me when she told me she wanted to go to the toilet. Quickly took out the potty which she flat out refused. "No, I want the big toilet!" Okay, took out the kid toilet seat attachment and put it on. "NO! I don't want this mommy!" and then took it off herself. I carried her on to the toilet seat and held on to her so afraid she would drop in. She did her job and jumped off. 

Then it happened again and again and again. Soon she was going to the toilet everytime she needed to pee and poo. And then she just went diaperless and that was it. She was potty trained. Just like weaning, walking, self feeding - she learnt everything on her own time. Little Miss Independent will figure it out "When She's Ready" and that has been our motto.

Many people ask me how I did it - the weaning, the self soothing, the toilet training and my answer is always the same. Encouragement and Communication. Talk to them, let them know the end goal and teach them how to get there and then encourage them as you let them explore on their own. When mistakes are made and trust me it does happen, I try my hardest not to shame them but instead be there for them and encourage them to try again.

I very rarely force our children to learn new skills because I know that they will get there eventually. In the meantime, I try to enjoy her childness a bit more. I try to enjoy being needed a bit more. I try to enjoy it before she becomes so grown up and tells me "Mommy go outside and wait!" while she does her business. 

Then suddenly I'm the one not ready to let her go *cries*. 

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