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Monday, 13 November 2017

Refuge


What a week. After having all the fun in the world on Sunday celebrating my beautiful sister's 28th Birthday, hanging with Jasz, surrounded by family and being silly with LittleLim, I went to bed feeling happy and contented. Then Monday reared it's head and things became ugly. Any mom's nightmare happened - LittleLim got HFMD *cries*

Since I found out LittleLim's preschool had a HFMD outbreak, I've become a clean freak! Armed with hand sanitiser and wipes I clean EVERYTHING. There's no such thing as too clean as we enter outbreak season of HFMD and Influenza. I was feeling so proud of myself for keeping LittleLim safe and on top of that, have her 2 month old runny nose finally stop. I was like, "I've got this! *blows fingernails*" and WHAM! LittleLim got a fever that afternoon. She was all cranky and clingy. I admit, I freaked out a little. "CRAP! LittleLim has the fever! CRAP! CRAP!* I texted Hubbycat. I had a bad feeling the entire day that it was what I had feared. Call it mother's instincts.

Tuesday happened and LittleLim still had the fever but by afternoon the fever broke. I breathed a sigh of relief which was very short-lived. Fed her porridge when she suddenly burst into tears screaming "PAIN!" "PAIN!". Gingerly I pulled her lip back and there it was staring at me, a blister. I checked inside and there it was another four at the back of her throat. I wrapped her up in a hug and put on my brave smiley face. Over the next few hours her condition worsened, more blisters appeared in her mouth. Eating and drinking became a painful affair. Each mouthful LittleLim would wince but she wouldn't cry and tried to put on a brave front.

Seeing her try to be brave made me want to cry. I looked her in the eye and asked her "Is it pain?" "Yes" she replied. I asked "Do you want to cry?" "Yes" she replied again. "Okay" I said and took her into my arms and she started crying. I wanted to take away her pain and the best I could do was just to hold her in her weakness. As she was crying, I started crying. At that moment, I am reminded just how our Heavenly Father sees me. The way I see my daughter is the way He sees me. With so much love and protectiveness, without an inch of disgust or disappointment especially in moments of weakness and helplessness. That He wants to hold me.

As I hugged her and watch her sobs slow down, I assure her that it will be okay. That she doesn't have to worry. I will be strong for us, I will hold it together, I've got this for her. Today I am reminded motherhood isn't always sunshine and rainbows but in these moments of darkness, we have the ability to be the rainbow for our children. We have the ability to show our children that they are loved.

What a crazy week it has been! Dettol and Euky Bear has been my best friends! Thankfully LittleLim has recovered and definitely back to her active self. After this, I'm going to hibernate. 

-Ally

2 comments:

  1. oh no, hope little lim is okay now! sending her lots of love and hugs! loving her dress btw and such a sweet photo of you guys <3

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    1. Thanks Yin <3 her magical dress is the best especially for crowded areas! haha! hope you guys are well. Lots of loveee!

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