Nuffnang

Thursday, 7 September 2017

Why Mommy?


I write. I write a lot. As I write this, there are three notebooks beside me. One is work related. One for everyday happening, reminders, lists etc. The last one, the most precious, is my phone. But it's not just a phone filled with social media apps, no, my phone is also my journal. While I love the physical act of writing (and I love my handwriting!), the sound of pen on paper and the physicalness of paper - my phone is where I journal. Why? Because it's fast, I have photos which I can include right away and my phone is ALWAYS with me. I just write the happenings as it comes throughout the day and at the end of the day, I'll reflect and see if there are any moments that I want to share on my blog, Instagram, Facebook etc. 

It's a habit I have kept for a long time now. The other day as I was just sitting on the couch with my legs up, when LittleLim saw me "journalling" and climbed on me. She pulled my phone down to get my attention and with her limited vocabulary she asks me "Why, Mommy?"

I told her everything I just said above and then I looked at her and told her, I write because I always want to remember you and your little brother. When you're older I want to remember your childhood, what you did at 1 day old, 1 year old, 10 years old and up until the day I'm gone. I want to remember the cute little things you do, I want to remember your hugs and kisses, the songs you sing, your favourite food, your first experiences, the big and small milestones - I want to remember you growing up. I want to look back and see these pictures, these stories and relive these moments. 

"Oh okay." "Why mommy?" 

I looked at her confused. Wasn't that a very long answer? What else is there to know? She looked a little bit more perplexed and asked again louder as if I didn't hear her the first time, "Why mommy?" 

"Why what darling?" I asked her back. I see the cogs in her brain turning, trying to find the words to string together, to explain herself. Giving up she points "Why mommy?" I look at her direction. Lo and behold, BabyJ has regurgitated his milk and was just cluelessly (and happily) kicking and punching away. 

I realised she wasn't asking me "Why mommy?" She was telling me "Vomit" "Vomit" I burst out laughing. "Why mommy" "Why mommy" "Didi Why Mommy" (Translation: Vomit, Vomit, Didi Vomit). She clearly did not appreciate my laughing, she grabbed my hand and led me to the wipes and pointed at didi. 

Still laughing I said "Okay baby, let's clean up!"

-Ally

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