Nuffnang

Monday, 4 September 2017

Let Me!

So this happened about two weeks ago. 

It was a long day. I've been up since 8.30am doing mommy driver duties, a parent involvement meeting at Kindie, taking care of BabyJ- being a cow, comforter and all, work related errands, clean house, cook and by 7PM I just wanted to feed LittleLim her dinner, eat mine and call it a night. Prepared the table and sat LittleLim at her usual spot on the table. Served her dinner and proceeded to send the spoon filled with yummy (if I do say so myself :D I've improved in the cooking department!) food into her mouth.... before I even got close, her tiny hand grabbed mine. She looked me in the eye, hand moving down towards the spoon and with a very strong confident voice (that very much resembles mine) "Let Me." Oh the debate that went on in my head. 

I was so proud. Proud that she feels ready to try self-feeding, proud that she wants to take the initiative, proud that she's growing up. On the other hand, it was 7pm, I was tired and the last thing I wanted to do was spend another 20 minutes on my hands and knees cleaning up. Seriously, I hate mess. The very reason I did not go down the baby led weaning road was because of the mess. And right now, I was not in the mood to deal with the mess. 

I looked her in the eye and tried to excitedly tell her we'll try tomorrow only to be greeted with another firm "Let ME!". No matter how hard I tried to reason with her, no matter how much excuses and rewards I dangled in front of her, I always got a strong "Let Me!" (damn you stubborn genes!). Reluctantly and I mean really reluctantly, I heaved a heavy sigh to emphasise how reluctant I really was, I handed her the spoon. Bracing myself for the mess that would follow. Waiting. 

She dunked the spoon into her rice as if digging a grave - which might as well be mine considering how much I hate mess and die at the sight of it, picked up some rice, meat and veggie (I swear at that time it really looked like Mount Everest was on a spoon) and brought the spoon to her mouth. I winced. What felt like the longest 3 seconds of my life, the spoon entered her mouth. And came out clean. No spills. No mess. No drips. Everything, the whole mountain that entered her mouth and was devoured. First time lucky I thought. And then it happened again and again. And then some more until her bowl was clean.

It wasn't until her 6th "all food in her mouth, yes i can feed myself mommy" time it registered. My firstborn was finally feeding herself. Effortlessly. Perfectly. I didn't know what to do next. What do I do now? Do I eat my own meal now? Do I dare turn around and leave her alone? Of course I do. For the first time in a very long time, I ate my dinner hot. I ate my dinner without distractions. I ATE MY DINNER. 

I was amazed at how LittleLim knew she was ready. I was amazed that she didn't back down but firmly and confidently stood her ground and believed in herself when I doubted her. I was amazed that to prove her point, she kept insisting that I let her do it her way. 

The thing is, so many times I'm the hovercraft, eagle mom who thinks her kid can't do it yet. Sometimes the thought of cleaning up messes and fixing things put me on the edge and I don't want to let her try. Sometimes it's just because I think I know better (most times I do know better!). But I gotta just let go and remind myself that messes can be cleaned up but my child's confidence can't be fixed so easily.

I learnt three things that day: 
1. Have more confidence in my daughter's ability.
2. Arguing with LittleLim is like arguing with myself.
3. Hot food tastes damn yummy! Oh how I've missed it. 

Such a pro at self feeding now!


-Ally 

4 comments:

  1. Yayyy! Well done LittleLim! I totally understand where you're coming from too I still feed Liam a lot cause I can't stand the mess and it's probably why he still has mediocre fine motor skills ��

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    1. Thanks Aunty Kim <3 haha! I was just telling drea, we're such asian parents for not being able to tolerate mess. I still can hear my grandma's voice in my head "Lat tat" "Lat tat" "Lat tat" lol! But no la, Liam is not mediocre la! He's perfectly fine. Toddler shakiness as I call it!

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  2. Wow she can self-feed so well on her first attempt! Amazing! You can enjoy hot food all the time now, or at least until it's Didi's turn to start on solids. ;)

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    1. haha! If only EVERY meal is so perfect. Sometimes she gets overexcited and food goes flying everywhere and I do a head smack thinking "WHAT HAVE I DONE! SHOULD HAVE HELD THE SPOON FOR HER!" hahaha. Old habits die hard. omg didi. I'm going to cherish my meal times for the next 3 months! :P

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