Tuesday, 13 June 2017

Dear Second Child Of Ours

Hi Son. 

Right now you're punching me (or kicking, I seriously can never tell the difference) and reminding me that you're no longer itty bitty because each jab is full force and powerful. It moves my belly with tiny tremors and sometimes you make everything look out of shape. Then again I expect nothing less now that you're heavier than your elder sister was at week 38. Did I just say week 38? Yes, yes I did! I still find it extremely hard to accept that you are at the same gestational age your as when your sister decided to make her grand appearance. Where did all the time go! The question now is, are you going to be just as impatient as your sister or are you going to make mommy and daddy wait? 

Whenever you or mommy's body decide that you do make your grand appearance, know that we are ready for you. I'm so sorry that you have to share my attention and that even before you even arrive, you have been smacked, sat on, kicked and rolled on already by your big sister. But you're a champ. You're definitely so much calmer and more relaxed. We did have a rocky start but I'm so glad you fought on and that we got there eventually.

Sometimes I do wonder if we're being fair to bring you into this world because on rough days when I get really emotional I wonder if my heart will be able to love you just as much as I do with your sister. I wonder about how your sister has stolen all the first moments and how it will be so hard to not compare the both of you. There were times where mommy had to cut our bonding sessions short because your elder sister needed me and I wonder with guilt if this will be your fate.

I just want to say that these moments are short and as if you know my heart, you will nudge me as if to remind me that you're different. You have showed me that I do love you and that you already have a place in my heart. I would never give you up and I would never let anyone harm you. You are already mine and even before I realised, my heart has already expanded for you. My love has already grown for you. I really enjoy the moments you kick my hand when you feel my touch or respond to my voice when I sing. It's been so amazing knowing that the past 38weeks has given me you and while sometimes I may forget about you (especially the second trimester) know that you are and will always be my miracle. 

I look forward to meeting you and getting to know you. I'm excited for this new journey we'll be embarking together and making many memories. 

Love, Mommy.

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