Nuffnang

Tuesday, 1 November 2016

You Learn To Be A Great Parent


Fuck Judgemental Know-It-All-People who thinks it's okay to judge and bully another parent. Becoming a parent is like an invitation for people to butt themselves in my life and comment on the way I raise my child. As if they have a say in how long they should be wearing a diaper, when they should be stopped breastfeeding, when they should be going to school, how the iNanny should not be used to entertain a screaming child just so mommy and daddy can get a decent dinner together, how a child shouldn't be falling sick and that it must be because mommy isn't taking care of them, how mommy should stop working and get her priorities straight, how mommy should be working to set a good example, how you "don't care" about your child... oh the list is endless and honestly so very insulting to any parent. 

For all the moms and dads who has ever felt judged, belittled and bullied - great parents aren't born. You don't become a great parent overnight. There were so many instances where I wished it would happen. I'd go to bed and wake up with everything perfect - perfect house, perfect routines, perfect child. Even today, 21 months later I still don't have perfect. But greatness isn't perfection. 

Greatness is finding a balance between taking care of everything you're responsible for and yourself. Greatness is learning to prioritise and focus on what is important. Greatness is learning to choose your battles and let go when you can't. Greatness is knowing that your responsibility sometimes means choosing work over your child and that's okay. Greatness is choosing yourself because it is necessary to be a better wife, mom, friend etc. Greatness is accepting that everyday is another day to put everything you think you know into practice only to realise that there is so little you really know. Greatness is accepting that things isn't perfect because of all the limitations but you still give your best and your all. Greatness is being present given your circumstances. Greatness it's letting your child show you who they are the way they know how. Greatness is a meltdown, a tantrum, a fight because your child feels safe in your presence to act out and all you can do is go through a list in your head on what to do next the best way possible.

Today you may struggle a little bit but tomorrow you will be better. Great parents aren't built in a day, great parents are built in lifetimes. It's the stories and legacies your children will talk about. The great things you've taught, sacrificed and built for them. Hang on and don't let the bullies win. Head up now. The first step is accepting that you can be a great parent, you will be a great parent and you are a great parent. Making mistakes are part and parcel of learning. Just remember that you will learn to be a great parent. 

Now go. Go be a parent. Be a great one. I'm with you.

-Ally

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