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Saturday, 15 October 2016

I Am Proud To Be A Woman. Not A Bitch.

TheAllyJourney

In recent years, people have tried to reclaim the word "bitch" and turn it into something positive. I don't speak for anyone but myself. If you have a different viewpoint as me, great. If you have the same, great. Like everything on this blog, these are the stories and life lessons I hope I will be able to pass on to my children. In the same vein, I want my children to grow up knowing that they do not have to be a "bitch" to be woman. I want them to know that "bitch" when said derogatorily does not make them any less of a woman and I want them to know that "bitch" when said complementary does not make them any more womanly than they already are. I want them to know that their identity does not come from the word "bitch". 

Regardless of whether people have tied positivity and strength to lessen the negativity of the word, I refuse to accept another label for the way I behave. Why do we need a category or another box to fit in. If you're not a "bitch" does that make you less of a woman? If you're not a "bitch" does that make you weaker than other women who have embraced their "bitchiness"? Do you have to be a "bitch" to be taken seriously as a woman with rights?

To the people who use "bitch" to insult me - honestly it doesn't phase me. Big whoop if I am, big whoop if I'm not. Instead of giving you the joy of seeing me get insulted, here's something I'll give you - indifference. Like to a child who screams and throws a temper tantrum, I will walk away and ignore you. I think I am woman enough to know who I am and who I am not. Instead of needing to prove anything to you, I think I'll just be me. To the person who called me a bitch to get under my skin, I'm sorry to disappoint but it's not going to work. I am stronger than a label, bigger than a box and brighter than any insult your small mind can come up with. I'm confident in myself, my identity and my intellect to know that your "bitch" is too small for a person like me. 

To the people who use "bitch" to praise me - honestly it doesn't make me feel bigger, better or stronger. It is empty, it isn't heavy upon my shoulders and it doesn't give me any responsibility. It isn't empowering because what does "bitch" mean anyway? If it means strength, the power to stand up for my rights, the power to say "no" and walk away, the power to go against stereotypes and prejudices - then please call me a "WOMAN". Call me a woman because that is what women are. We're strong, passionate, gorgeous, fierce, talented, brave, vocal, intelligent, graceful and all that because we are made that way, built that way and should be respected that way. To the person who called me a "bitch" to empower me, I can relate with being a "woman" more than I do with "bitch" because I fight as a woman not a bitch. I live my life as a woman not a bitch. This is how a woman looks like not a bitch. So please, don't call me a "bitch" because it's empty and meaningless. Call me a woman. A proud empowered woman.

Instead of fighting to reclaim the word "bitch" I choose to fight in reclaiming the word "woman". We are not lesser than our male counterparts. If "you're the MAN" is a compliment then on all accounts "woman" should be just as great, just as respected and just as empowering. If women need to be called a "bitch" to be a "woman" then what is it are we truly fighting for? If women don't even know how to be proud with being called "woman" how then do we expect others to know? 

So no, don't call me a bitch for whatever reason. Call me a woman. A woman who deserves the same amount of dignity, respect and honor by default without the need to call and label myself a "bitch". I am proud  to be woman. Not a bitch. 

-Ally

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