Nuffnang

Wednesday, 8 June 2016

STOP!!!! NO!!!! DON'T!!!!


Hi, welcome to the life of a mother who lives with a toddler. Somewhere between last week and today, my almost 17month old learnt to push her boundaries. With it she learnt a few new skills and has been determined to use her new skills to drive me up the wall or kill me by heartattack. Two in particular has been super annoying - climbing up furniture and opening drawers. I swear my biggest fear is finding her falling from the top of the table or the couch and cracking her skull open. The other is the fear of finding my precious tableware in tiny pieces. And if that's not bad enough, I fear I will find a toddler bleeding out or worst choking on those pieces. So fun *rolls eyes*

I have been nice all week explaining to her why she cannot climb furniture or open these drawers. Which reminds me, I need the handyman husband to buy those child locks and fix it up. Nice and patient. Over and over and over. But my patience has a limit and there are only so many days I can do the nice gentle mommy gig. Seriously, anyone who has made me frustrated or seen me angry knows that I am a firecracker. So 6 days is pretty good for my standard. 

Today, I exploded. I woke up with one toddler crying in front of my face for no reason. Great start *force smile*! Then she struggles to let me take her clothes off because she wants to be in her jammies and poop filled diaper a while longer. Then she refuses to get in the bath and when bath is over she refuses to get out. She refuses to wear her clean diaper or her pants so we settled for a onesie. Then she decided it's fun to throw her food on the floor and all over my clean shirt. She cries because she's hungry as half the food is now all over the floor. She cries because I refuse to let her hold the spoon. She cries as I clean up the food off the floor. She refuses to sit properly on the high chair. She refuses to get off the high chair. And finally after everything is done and my whole morning gone and my mood getting sourer by the minute, I finally let her go and do some self play. And what do I see furniture climbing. Hands deep in soapy water I finally snapped. "STOP! NO! DON'T!! LITTLELIM DOWN NOW!" and after that rage took over and blinded me. 

Such a proud mom moment *sarcastic*. Did it work? Hells no. Determined to make me even more angry, she continues climbing until I went over and grabbed her. Put her with me in the kitchen and suddenly I hear the cupboards creak. I turn around and there she is nose deep reaching out for my delicate tea cups which now lacks a partner because she broke one the other day. "STOP!! NO!! DON'T!! LITTLELIM PUT IT BACK!" does it work? Of course not. 

I don't think I've ever felt so angry as I did today. Finally I put her down and told her off. Not gently but pretty loud. I saw it in her eyes, the fear because mommy has never done this before. Oh yes, the waterworks came. Did I feel good? Of course not. My heart broke and seeing her cry I wanted to cry too but I kept it together. That did the trick she became more obedient after that. She did everything I said even though I could see the struggle in her debating with herself if she wanted to listen to her crazy mom. Today was tough and painful. Today, I dread the day she becomes a teenager and starts answering back. Today I'm so glad I only have one to deal with. 

You know what, if you have decided not to have kids. Good for you. Don't have kids. Jokes! 

Anyway, she's asleep now and I just came up with one illustration using whatever pent up emotions I have. I kind of miss her now. I think I'm going to watch over her sleep like the crazy mother I am. 

-Ally

Edit:

Thanks to this article I understand LittleLim a little bit more :) At least now I know that LittleLim is not doing all these things intentionally. She has a short attention span which is why she doesn't remember my instructions well. She having a short attention span also means that the best way to get her to not do something I don't want her to do is to distract her with something else. Also, I need to be more consistent with my "no no" so that when it's time for her to remember, she'll know that it is off limits. And I have to be gentle when correcting her. While being aggro works, it is damaging if done too frequently in the long run. 

One step closer to being a better mom. Don't give up if you're in my shoes! Let's learn together :)

2 comments:

  1. i understand your frustration! its all on disciplining and explaining to them now which can get so tiring. bt at the end of the day, when u see them sleeping peacefully, the guilt just get to us wtf. sometimes i feel like crying in front of hana hahahahaaha like omg pleaseee please listen to me!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. YES! Oh it is so hard to be consistent! :( They are so good at manipulating our feelings to get their way. I always have internal struggles ALWAYS even today. It never gets easier la. LOL

      Delete