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Wednesday, 27 April 2016

The Battle of Wills


And so it has begun. 

My daughter is in every way stubborn and strong willed like her mommy and daddy. I sort of knew she wouldn't be a push over because neither of us are push overs and I also expected some sort of rebelliousness in her because the husband and I have always been one to push boundaries, expectations, norms and have never obeyed blindly. So if anything, I knew, I just didn't expect LittleLim to show it this early! She's only 15months for crying out loud, she shouldn't be this individualistic or independent yet! She can be that at 13, or older. (haha!)

This is probably one of the most trying parts of being a mom. Definitely beats breastfeeding and sleepless nights! So many times I get frustrated because she's doing everything I tell her not to. So many times I feel like screaming at her because she feels it's not time for bed yet while mommy is forcing her to sleep. So many times I feel like letting her go hungry because she refuses to eat her meals but instead choose to play. So many times I feel my will break whenever I see her cry angry hot frustrated tears because mommy has taken away that pair of scissors, carried her away from the dustbins, put her away from the switches, told her not to hit Montycat.... and it always ALWAYS makes me feel like the bad cop. The wet blanket, the meanie, the serious one AND it hurts :( But I am the adult and the parent whose responsibility is to care for her wellbeing and that she is safe.

I always joke that while LittleLim has a strong will, mommy's will is stronger. While it's true, it's also very draining! Emotionally, physically and mentally. She's not exactly tiny and fragile anymore! She can kick, scratch, pull, bite and arch away now which makes me feel like I'm part of the WWE! There are days when we both walk away with battle scars and trust me, I've never had bruises, scratches and an almost blind eye in aeons. "Welcome to motherhood" is exactly what I feel my mom saying in Heaven now. 

It's true when they say that this is the age of the first taste of teenagehood because I sure feel like I have a teenager living in my house. As funny and horrifying as this sounds, I'm also happy my daughter is a fighter. I honestly wouldn't have it any other way. I just have to keep reminding myself that God made me her parent for a reason and that I have to manage her character the best I can so that I can help her hone in on it. There's nothing worst that limiting her potential or killing her spirit because I can't handle a little fight. Ah, if anything I have that much more respect for my mother and father for handling me the way they did and loving me regardless of how difficult I made life for them.
-Ally

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