Wednesday, 16 March 2016

A Letter To BabyLim on Her First Birthday

Happy First Birthday Sweetheart <3

A year ago you burst into this world in a HUGE way at your own terms. Mommy already knew you were going to be like mommy and daddy - you already had a voice of your own, breaking norms and expectations. You had the loudest cry in the nursery and the one with a beautiful head of hair. You were smaller than most newborns but that didn't hold you back. While you may be small you were loud and strong - that's how mommy remembers your first debut into this world. I remember all the emotions that came flooding in at 3am when you were placed on my chest but the one with the most impact is how much I love you and how blessed I am to call you my daughter.

The year flew by so quickly. Everyday you grew from the tiny helpless unknowing baby to the young little lady you are today. Each morning I wake up and you would have grown a little bit and it would make me so happy that you're growing well and at the same time sad that you're growing so fast. I would look at you and think "she won't be this small tomorrow" and all I wanted to do at that moment was hold you a little bit longer and secretly wish time stood still.

You on the other hand had other plans. You were all for growing and gaining independence. You were determined to hit those milestones and you did that with perseverance and grace. Look at what you have accomplished in one year! You're now strong enough to sit, crawl, stand, walk. Smart enough to point at things you want, inquisitive and curious, adventurous and confident. You understand simple words like "Fan" "No" "There" "Come" "Kiss" "Bring Here" "Stop" and of course my favourite is you knowing who your "mummy" and "daddy" is. You recognising us made us so happy we cried.

My darling being your mother is my greatest privilege and honor. Everyday I thank God for letting me be your mother and while it has been a new experience and a steep learning curve to mother you right, I value this role greatly. No matter how difficult it was and is to get, I will give up everything if it means I get to be your mommy. I treasure all the things I get to show you and teach you. You are worth it all.

Having you made me realise how short time is and how fast it passes by. How is it that ONE year feels like decades. How one year is too short to justify reminiscing your babyhood but long enough for you to change so much. How is it possible that in such a short time so much can happen and yet it feels like it's not enough time with you?

Oh, if only you didn't have to grow up baby girl and yet I know that's the main thing you need to be doing. To learn and grow and become the version of yourself that God made you to be. To live life to the fullest and discovering yourself and your purpose through living. Soaking in the best days of your life and persevering through the hardest. Believing that through it all, God is beside you using these seasons and experiences to shape you and teach you to become a wise, strong and purposeful woman.

I have so many hopes and dreams for you but ultimately I want what God wants for you. You will always belong to Him first and I will obey His will for your life. I will help you along your own journey of discovery. You are and will always be "Amelia" the "work of the Lord" and He will use you to do great things for His glory. In His perfect timing, He will give you dreams and vision and He will put a calling in your heart.

Wherever God calls you to be, whatever it is you are meant to do remember that you are not alone. You will always have a home to come back to, you will always have us to run towards. Whatever you become, whoever you become I promise that I will not have any prejudices or condemnation but I will always remain loyal to you. You will always have my heart and my love.

Mommy is so excited as you enter a new phase in life - toddlerhood. I can't wait for what the future holds for us and even more so for you as you discover new things and see the world differently and with a little bit more understanding. Looking forward to all the crazy, fun, scary and enjoyable times with you. 

For each moment spent with you is a blessing and joy. Each moment and each memory I will cherish. I will hold your hand and walk with you always. Through the happy times and certainly through the hard times. Times where you will cry because you cannot get it done your way or those times you're frustrated because mommy can't understand you - I will be there.

As you learn new things, hit new milestones and explore the world with new eyes - I will be there cheering you on. For the times you fall and hurt yourself - I will be there to pick you up and encourage you to try again. For the times where you are lost in the discovery of yourself - I will be there with wisdom and advice, acceptance and love. For the times you are scared - I be there to be brave for both of us, I will help you understand that you don't have to fear. For the times things don't make sense to you yet - I will be there to be your guide. Whether you turn one, three, five, fifteen, fifty or five hundred, I will be there.

I will be there in your heart, I will be there in your memories, I will be there in spirit - I will always be with you. Even if my voice gets drowned out, may my words in letters reach you. Even if you lose sight of me, may my presence in your life shine through. Even if you drown in the darkness, may my wisdom, grace and love always be that flicker of light. That's mommy's hearts desire for you, always.

For everything I have is yours one day. The moment you were placed in my arms you became my heart beating outside my body. This love I have for you is constant, unconditional, unfailing. You don't have to earn it, you don't have to win it, you don't have to work for it- it has been yours the moment I found out of your existence. I have never stopped loving you, I will never stop loving you. 

My darling, thank you. You are truly a joy and a blessing. Our lives are so much richer because of you. You taught us to cherish time, to soak up moments, to be present always, to laugh at the mess and to live with freedom and grace. You have taught us how sacrificial love looks like and have given us a better understanding of how our Father's love for us is like - constant, unwavering and deep.

We did it LittleLim! We survived the first year beautifully. I love you always.
No matter how old you are, forever my baby you will be.


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