Sunday, 27 September 2015

Things I Learnt From Being a Mom

1. Patience Patience and even more patience.

Everyday I feel like my patience is being tested. Slept for 3 hours.. chill. Hubby left your wallet on the table while taking money and you left without it and now have no money to pay for parking... chill. Baby pooped in the car and smeared in the car seat.. chill. Baby screaming since 3am and it's now 11 am and you're curled in a ball feeling your ears bleed... omg! hahaha

I think I'm certainly more calmer now with baby. Initially it was tricky especially when things happened that I had no control over. Now I'm a whole lot more seasoned that nothing fazes me much these days and I'm able to keep a level head and tackle one problem at a time without feeling overwhelmed much.

My hero: mom. Ever since I became a mom myself, I realised what a saint my own mom was. I've gotten so mad at BabyLim for throwing the craziest tantrums and then I tried remembering what my mom would have done... and I can tell you I have never seen my mom raise her voice at me even when I was crying for hours on end. HOW CAN A MOTHER NEVER YELL?!!! So now when I'm super pissed off, I channel my mom.

2. Schedule

I certainly believe in schedules. I'm lucky BabyLim loves schedules too because she is one of those babies that has a time for everything. In the beginning I was so adamant at getting her to adapt to MY timing that it drove us crazy! I would get angry at her and she would get upset because she just wasn't hungry / tired. It was only after I started relaxing and observing her that I realised that she had her own timing and since she was so stubborn (hahahaha!) I adapted to her. Life has been so much smoother now that I know when is nap time, when is bath time, when is sleep time. Also it makes BabyLim a happier baby when she also knows what to expect.

3. Stop making them grow up

When BabyLim was just born I looked forward to her being 6 months. When she turned 6 months I looked forward to her being 8 months. Now that she is 8 months, I had to stop myself from looking forward to 18 months and just see her as she is - 8 months. Instead of wishing she was walking, talking, eating - I am now focusing on helping her get there and letting her explore her world herself and being present. That means letting her put things into her mouth, giving her different kinds of food to try, letting her make a mess and just allowing her to be that 8month old baby. As it is they grow up so fast already.

4. Never judge another parent

It's so easy to say "omg, so horrible that mom. Why is she letting her child use the phone so much? I will never do that!" until you are in their shoes. You might not know that she already has done everything in her power to try to entertain her child another way and this is the last resort.

It's also so easy to say "she's such a bad parent! Why can't she control her child!!" only until it's your turn and your 7month old REFUSES to use indoor voice because she freaking doesn't understand what "indoor voice" is.

Until you yourself are a parent you realise that it's not easy raising kids. Some are easy (lucky you!) while others have more difficult children (lucky us!). Being a mom definitely has made me more compassionate towards other parents and seriously, screaming baby? Here take some of my puffs and maybe our kids can give us a break. Lol!

5. Never say never.

Hoh! This one is the bomb. When I was pregnant I had this parenting goals - I'd never do this, I'd never do that, I would never put my baby through xxx.... and well let's just say it's a challenge to keep to it. I think I've broken one too many I'll nevers. I definitely have a more open mind now to suggestions, advice etc. and I realised that babies aren't robots who follow blindly. Or maybe they do and BabyLim is just that different. Sometimes you have to do something you don't like to get a result you like. So keeping open mind is key here.


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