Thursday, 2 July 2015

Things I'd Do Differently During My Pregnancy

Ah, pregnancy. I was one of those moms who fell into the "I love being pregnant" category. There was little to hate about it other than feeling like a whale at week 33 onwards. I remember the days passing so fast and towards the end, if not for feeling like a giant beach ball and the excitement of seeing BabyLim, I seriously didn't want the pregnancy to end. There are days when I do miss being pregnant and days I wish I was pregnant (but those days are rare! the idea of going through that whole newborn phase still gives me shivers).

While it was an overall lovely experience, there are definitely things I wish I did differently and will do differently when baby2 happens. Better write it down so I don't forget, and maybe this can help new mommies to be as well.

Things I'd do differently:

1. Keep a Journal

Thankfully I Dayre-d most of my pregnancy and now most of BabyLim's milestones. But nothing beats having a proper hardcover, handwritten journal. Watching this video made me regret not writing one because it would be so amazing to hand it over to my children / their partners when the time comes. And even if I'm dead and gone, they'll still be able to listen to my story in my own voice. I'm sorry BabyLim will never have one of her pregnancy but if her brother/sister happens, I'm going to be a little hardworking and write one for them.

2. Stop complaining about my body

I had put in 10kgs, my face swelled up, stretch marks formed along my belly, my belly button was an outie and protruded like a provocative third nipple and I complained about all of it to Hubbycat so much there was one time he nagged me about it.

I would tell myself now to just go with the flow and that my body will return to its glory days (somewhat) eventually. I would tell myself to focus on the inside, that little life growing and while I will eventually go back to a size 8, my bellybutton will fall back in and although I still have saggy skin and remnants of the stretchmarks, I will not be able to enjoy the movements and excitement from baby kicks and hiccups anymore.

Also, it's a really bad habit. I sometimes get so tempted to complain about my body even now but I remember BabyLim and I refuse for her to grow up in such an environment. How can I tell her to appreciate her beauty and love her body when her own mother does not?

3. Stop feeling bad when I was (doing) wasn't doing what other pregnant moms had (not) done/ did / were doing.

Did you eat lamb / coconut juice / coffee? OMG YOU DID?
Are you taking xxx? How about xxx? NO? Seriously?
Are you thinking of natural / C-sect? Omg why? Natural / C-Sect is better!
Epidural? You're going for it?! Do you know it can cause *insert own symptoms*

What a way to make yourself feel like a shitty mom. I always felt so scared to let people know what I was or wasn't doing in case they go all judgy on me. I would start comparing myself and second guess my decisions. It seriously got me so stressed out - I started worrying if I've hurt my fetus, if my baby will come out dark and dirty (and dirty they will be btw), if they will grow up to have ADHD, Fits etc.

But really, after having BabyLim I've come to a point where I feel like I have to sometimes stand up for and believe in my decisions. I was pregnant with baby2, I'd just stop feeling bad about myself and do what I feel is best for both myself and my baby. Of course with wisdom, careful research and facts.

4. Focus more on the other people.

Thankfully I have very amazing friends and found an amazing group of mommies. I didn't have a lonely quiet pregnancy but I can see how it could have gone that way. I stopped wanting to go out, stopped wanting to meet new people, stopped contacting people because I just felt ugly, tired, lazy and probably any excuse you can think of I've thought of. 9 months feels really fast when you're pregnant, but very long relationships wise. And so many things can happen, I'm glad my bestie and girlfriends took time to touch base with me every now and then. Forever grateful! Even if it's just 30mins of brunch it's better than nothing. Because now that BabyLim is here, I'm glad she has amazing aunties and uncles in her life and little friends to grow up and play with. Makes a heap of difference!

And here's what I'm glad I did do:

1. Share my pregnancy early
While I didn't think it was necessary to post in on Facebook (still don't), I am very happy I told our family and close friends about the pregnancy even before week 12. Yes, there was a chance that the pregnancy could have gone bad, but for me, I rather have our friends support during those times than none of them knowing and us feeling sad alone. It was also nice to have friends encourage, support and pray with you as you begin the journey.

2. Walk A LOT! And did my stretches.
I walked a lot and mostly in One Utama and Mid Valley. Haha! I was there almost every other week with my sister. We would just walk and walk and walk. I think that helped BabyLim engage early and sped up the birth process. The stretching helped kept me supple and strengthen my back muscles to carry the extra weight.

3. Eat right
I made a conscious effort to eat well during my pregnancy. I had lots of fruits and veg which helped with the constipation and energy. But more importantly, hubbycat fed me lots of fish and red meat. I only regret not having enough carbs and liquids - the carbs I learnt were necessary for baby's weight gain which is why BabyLim was on the lighter side and the liquids - you just need 'em.

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